Bae Watch, Collard Weekly Columns, Cuffing Season Woes, The Modern Condition

Cuffing Season Woes

baewatch.jpg

Cuffing Season Woes

Saturday night: You, a grilled veggie pizza, a cold box of wine, three heavy quilts, a movie marathon, and an empty couch. Actually, it’s probably you, some cold leftover Wingos, some cheap hard cider, and an empty couch. Yep, being single during Cuffing Season can definitely suck some of the entertainment out of Netflix and chill.

As the summer months die down, nature prompts us to seek out mates to generate heat during the arctic months. During the arctic season, cuffing buddies will perform distinct acts; such as, participating in public displays of affection, ducking their friends to spend time with their bae, and keeping each other’s bodies *ahem* warm. The autumn season is full of mating rituals to attract a cuffing buddy—this is Cuffing Season.

Securing a suitable cuffing buddy can prove to be difficult. Darwin will be the first to tell you that everybody can’t make the cut. Some common evolutionary obstacles include: your potential bae is already involved with someone, potential bae is indecisive, you’re not seeing anybody who you’re into, you’re socially awkward, potential bae is socially awkward, potential bae is fine AF but they say dumb shit, or you could just be surrounded by fuck boys.

Whatever the reason, if you’re left out in the cold this winter, just know you’re not alone in the struggle. Plenty of us are snuggling up in some low lighting and clean sheets to J. Holiday in an empty bed. Taking a cue from Drake, if you’re reading this it’s probably too late to find a cuffing buddy; however, you’ve got some fellow woes to lounge through the six with.

“Cuffing Buddy Woes” is Bae Watch’s new winter mini-series.

Graphics courtesy of Anisa Rahaman

RosewaterSignage copy

December 9, 2015

About Author

Rosewater Rosewater is pursuing her Bachelor’s Degree in International Relations and Leadership and Management minor at American University. Her passion for education encourages her love of teaching and learning from others. She uses humor and creativity to push back against elitism in higher academia—often infusing pop culture references to make heady concepts more digestible. She advocates for urban youth’s accessibility to political and social justice concepts, with an ultimate goal of fervently improving urban development. She is committed to her dream of founding a national non-profit to expand resource accessibility to low income housing residents. As a writer and graphic illustrator for The Collard, she enjoys weaving ratchet politics and everyday happenings together for the modern millennial’s entertainment and education.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *