Politics

With Main Bullying Target Gone, Trump Recedes into Room to Work on New Rubio Taunts

151029122412-rubio-trump-carson-debate-exlarge-169

Last weekend Jeb Bush dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination. The dozen Jeb supporters were disappointed, but they were not the only ones.

Donald Trump was also at a loss, having lost the opportunity to taunt Jeb publicly for the next few months. “It’s just so fun,” Trump said, distraught after hearing the news of Bush’s dropout. “I’m going to miss him and his lame-ness.”

The next day, though, Trump was sprightly and youthful-looking as ever, his thick, luscious hair reflecting the obvious restoration of energy he had experienced. When asked what this sudden mood turnaround could be about, his wife Milania told the media, “He’s ready to get back on stage and make fun of the other candidates! He’s chosen Marco as his main target.” She then added, “I’m proud of him for bouncing back so quickly.”

Trump told reporters that he has a solid list of a hundred or so insults he is ready to hurl at Rubio at a moment’s notice. He also said he is waiting for the next debate to start using any of them, saying, “I don’t want to ruin the surprise!”

February 21, 2016

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *