Pop Culture

Consequences of Apple Opening Up That Phone: What It Means for the Rest of Us



The battle between the FBI and Apple over getting Apple to create the technology to access the San Bernadino terrorists’ phone is certainly an intriguing and pertinent debate. Terrorism and iPhones: basically the only two things Americans talk about on a daily basis.

People are speculating about the implications for the rest of the iPhone users in the country and around the world: will our privacy be forever jeopardized?

First things first, our privacy is already jeopardized. All you need are three little initials: NSA. You’re there. Boom. Next point.

If Apple ends up having access to everyone’s phone, here’s what we expect they will see a lot of:

* Snapchat screen shots of your best friend’s fifty chins, your best friend on the toilet, your best friend saying something really drunk like “mistakes are always temporary.” Your best friend definitely does not want this technology out there.

* Text conversations with the flaky person you’re trying to have sex with. “What are you up to?” “Busy haha.” Don’t want Apple seeing that, no siree.

* Your Tinder profile and matches and conversations. Let’s hope you’re not one of those guys who sends out fifty “hahahahahhaha so nudes?” at a time. Although those people are shameless so we doubt they’d care if Apple saw that shit. But you would, wouldn’t you, if you complied!

* Pictures of your dog. Cute! But bad because what if some Apple genius tries to steal your dog? Nuh-uh.

So all in all, we can agree that this is an interesting debate and we will continue to be on the fence about it until it’s all over and done with and we will be so enraged at the outcome, no matter what it is.

February 29, 2016

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it

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