Only Lazy Reporters Turn To Backstalking Presidential Candidates, Say Superior Reporters



Lately all the “news” we’ve been hearing about Donald Trump and Ben Carson isn’t actually news at all. We’ve been getting a glimpse into their not so distant, and also pretty distant pasts, thanks to mediocre efforts made by reporters who would rather not leave their houses.

“I imagine these reporters just going through old Facebook posts, hoping to find an embarrassing middle school picture of Trump or Hillary,” scoffs Ethan White, a reporter who actually pays attention to what’s happening today. “I mean, what does it really matter if Trump said offensive things after 9/11? He says offensive things these days, too.”

“I guess it’s interesting,” says Allison Smith, who has been closely following the presidential race, “but it feels more like they’re just digging up scandalous information just for the fun of it. All the news from years and years ago doesn’t serve any purpose.”






January 2, 2016

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it

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