The Modern Condition

How to Make Winter a Little Bit Better


Winter’s pretty much the worst season but we’re done with hearing you complain about it. Shut up and follow our advice.

  1. Pretend the snow is sand and have a beach day! There’s nothing better than ignoring the freezing cold in pursuit of the tropical mirage you’re going to create for yourself.
  2. Make a Cold-Weather Drinking Game: every time someone applies Chap-Stick, take a drink. Every time someone sneezes, take a drink. Every time someone wraps their scarf a little more tightly around their neck, take a drink. Best played in a public area. Perhaps on Beach Day?
  3. Challenge your friends to a hot chocolate drinking contest. The one able to withstand the most throat-scalding beverage is declared winner.
  4. Throw cough drops at unsuspecting passersby.
  5. Buy a bunch of blankets and hibernate for a few hours until you have to pee. Then return to your cocoon.


January 29, 2016

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it

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