Pop Culture

Thanksgiving Traffic Troubles Caused by Dramatic Adele Reenactments




Late November is objectively the worst time to travel. But this year a new holdup has been added to the highways and airports and no, before you ask, it isn’t ISIS. It’s a force much more benevolent but just as disruptive: Adele.

At Union Station Sunday night, hundreds were queued up for the Northeast Regional Amtrak train bound for New York. “We were standing in line for ages and they weren’t letting us past the gate,” recalled one passenger. “We started to get worried because I think we’re supposed to be worried nowadays no matter what. Luckily, it was just the person at the front of the line breaking out in dance to ‘Hello’ by Adele.”

Stories like this have been cropping up all up and down the eastern seaboard and across the nation. Interstate 95 has been especially backed up. “This is the worst traffic we’ve seen in years,” said one New Jersey State trooper, “and we all know how bad the Jersey Turnpike can be.”

When asked to report what they’ve seen that’s been holding up the highways, officials have mentioned that drivers suddenly brake to pull on fur coats while swaying dramatically and touching their faces.

“It’s causing a really big jam. I just wish Adele had waited a few more weeks to release her album,” complained one frustrated traveler.

November 30, 2015

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it

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