Late November is objectively the worst time to travel. But this year a new holdup has been added to the highways and airports and no, before you ask, it isn’t ISIS. It’s a force much more benevolent but just as disruptive: Adele.
At Union Station Sunday night, hundreds were queued up for the Northeast Regional Amtrak train bound for New York. “We were standing in line for ages and they weren’t letting us past the gate,” recalled one passenger. “We started to get worried because I think we’re supposed to be worried nowadays no matter what. Luckily, it was just the person at the front of the line breaking out in dance to ‘Hello’ by Adele.”
Stories like this have been cropping up all up and down the eastern seaboard and across the nation. Interstate 95 has been especially backed up. “This is the worst traffic we’ve seen in years,” said one New Jersey State trooper, “and we all know how bad the Jersey Turnpike can be.”
When asked to report what they’ve seen that’s been holding up the highways, officials have mentioned that drivers suddenly brake to pull on fur coats while swaying dramatically and touching their faces.
“It’s causing a really big jam. I just wish Adele had waited a few more weeks to release her album,” complained one frustrated traveler.