The Latest Craze, The Modern Condition

Great Gluten-Free Pasta Substitutes That Aren’t Zucchini


Craving a big, hearty bowl of pasta without the subsequent regret that comes from eating a big, hearty bowl of gluten? Looking to be over the “zoodles” trend already? Here are some great recipes for you gluten-free trend-starters.

  1.     Make bowtie pasta with actual bowties. No, they’re not the most edible, and you’ll spend hours chewing to basically no avail, but they are gluten free! Check out Brooks Brothers for some great bowties—a little pricey, but worth every penny once you put that marinara on!
  2.     Try hair instead of angel hair. Ugh, hair? Really? Yes! Believe us, if you’ve been searching your whole life for a use for those hairs that litter the floor when you get a haircut, boy are you in for a treat. The best part? Hair is really made of dead cells, so there’s no gluten in it!
  3.     Boil your pens and pencils for tasty (healthy) spaghetti! Sounds a little weird, right? Well, not to worry. Writing utensils make great spaghetti for the nights when you don’t have many other ingredients lying around.
  4.     Cupcake liner ravioli with cauliflower filling. The cupcake liners don’t just make great ravioli, they’re also full of fiber and super tasty. Feel free to substitute the cauliflower with whatever filling you want, apple sauce or canned tuna all make great fillings.

Try at your own risk and enjoy while taking in some great artwork sans gluten!

December 29, 2015

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it

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