Pop Culture

You’ll Make It Through Black Friday By Following This One Tip




Well, here we are. Halfway through November and you’re already thinking about what to get your friends and family for the holidays. In spite of the horror stories you hear about Black Friday, you’re considering going. The deals are too good to pass up!, you say. It’s all part of the holiday experience!, you claim. I’ll have no time to get my shopping done otherwise!, you worry.

Well, never fear. The solution you’ve been waiting for is here. The best way to get through Black Friday:

Just don’t go.

There’s a month until Christmas. You’re almost guaranteed to have time to do shopping. Also, the 21st century has seen some pretty great innovations, one of them being online shopping. Check it out. You might learn something.

Also, there is no reason for anyone to get excited about turning violent in a Target. Some underpaid worker in Thailand didn’t suffer to make that pair of slippers so that you could transform into the Hulk and rip someone else’s hair out. Same goes for Walmart, only turning violent in a Walmart is even worse.

Consider the costs and benefits of participating in Black Friday. Benefits: you maybe get some shopping done ahead of time. Go you! Costs: you ditch your family at 6pm on Thanksgiving, claw your way to some half-empty discount bins, and possibly end up on the Internet in a viral video in which you’re screaming, “Those are MY sparkly pink Uggs! MINE!”

If you absolutely have to go, remember: no you don’t. Nobody needs Black Friday.

Good luck this year.

November 26, 2015

About Author

C. LaPara Cailley LaPara is currently an undergraduate at George Washington working towards a BA in International Affairs and English, with a minor in Creative Writing. She spends most of her time providing comic relief to the pressures of this highly competitive city, even if she’s the only one laughing. Her comic relief outlets include being a writer for The Collard and the founder of an on-campus comedy-writing group. Other hobbies include writing, reading, sleeping (if there’s time), Gilmore Girls, running, and making up songs in weird voices about whatever she’s doing in that moment. Her roommate loves her for it

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