Collard Weekly Columns, Cuffing Season Woes

Cuffing Season Woes: Retail Therapy #BBHMM

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Graphic Courtesy of Anisa Rahaman

Graphic Courtesy of Anisa Rahaman

Whether you’re trapped on the shuttle, trapped in the library, or on your R. Kelly grind and trapped in the closet—you are trapped in an environment of couples. They’re sitting on each other’s laps in the lounge. They’re holding hands walking across the quad. They’re making out on the benches in front of your class. We all see them. They are attached at the hip, in a constant state of euphoria. Somehow they always seem to be tossing their heads in laughter, unable to tear their eyes away from each other’s faces. Gross.

Let’s be clear, Cuffing Season Woes aren’t bitter. We’re just over it. We’re over the matching sweaters, the coordinating Sperry’s, the identically flavored Frappuccinos. Some of us, however, let this overwhelming feeling of “over it-ness” pervade into other aspects of our winter lifestyle. We sink into the arms of our fleece sweaters, we shroud our fattened waist lines in sweatpants, and we ditch the pedicures for Uggs.

This Cuffing Season, though, we need to remember that being single means we get to show out for ourselves. There’s no pressure to dress the way your partner likes, or to catch the eyes of someone else. You can don your (faux) furs, impractical high heel boots, sheep’s wool Bane-esque jackets, and etch your fade just how you like it. Don’t be afraid to dive into some retail therapy.

If you are in need of fashion inspiration, check out the recent Balmain X H&M campaign. Forever 21 is pretty great for dresses, skirts, and men’s outerwear. If you can score clearance deals at Nordstrom Rack, ASOS, or Urban Outfitters you can hit the jackpot. TJMaxx always has great reasonably priced shoes. Also, Charlotte Russe has a great online store. Personally, I believe in the power of online shopping. As a curvy girl, I like to be able to try on my clothes in the comfort of my dorm… Without the wandering eye of the thigh-gapped dressing room attendant. Plus, I like to listen to old songs by The Dream and look at pics of Kim K while I do my fittings–makes me feel glamorous.

Look, being single isn’t easy, and you deserve to treat yourself to a little something special. And so what if you’re bitter about being single? Anna Karenina was bitter AF but she was still a bad bitch. So, while you’re rocking your new jingles, don’t forget to walk through the throngs of baes with your BBHMM attitude front and center. You’re single, and you’re a baddie—they betta recognize.

RosewaterSignage copy

December 23, 2015

About Author

Rosewater Rosewater is pursuing her Bachelor’s Degree in International Relations and Leadership and Management minor at American University. Her passion for education encourages her love of teaching and learning from others. She uses humor and creativity to push back against elitism in higher academia—often infusing pop culture references to make heady concepts more digestible. She advocates for urban youth’s accessibility to political and social justice concepts, with an ultimate goal of fervently improving urban development. She is committed to her dream of founding a national non-profit to expand resource accessibility to low income housing residents. As a writer and graphic illustrator for The Collard, she enjoys weaving ratchet politics and everyday happenings together for the modern millennial’s entertainment and education.


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